If your family is like mine, there comes a point when most of the grand kids are grown and you've all lived a decent chunk of life and as a result, you've acquired a decent load of stuff in your closets, in your house, in your kitchen drawers, in your car trunks.... you get the picture. Thus, my family, like I suppose other families as well, moved to the next logical conclusion: because we have so much stuff and we don't need more (after all it's just stuff), we should stop giving gifts. And so we did.
Well, it turns out that we don't like that so much. You see, it turns out the stuff is just stuff as we suspected and wasn't really missed in and of itself, but the act of giving gifts, the act of thinking about someone else so as to get them the perfect gift and fighting crowds at the mall just to get it, and the act of giving something to someone else out of your own selflessness are meaningful acts. If you think about it, the giving of gifts is a cherished ritual of many cultures, even our own. When I studied abroad in Japan, for example, almost everyone that I met gave me a gift out of respect when we met. It was a tangible way of welcoming me to their country. The same is true for the people of Indonesia and the Philippines (and many other countries). The three wise men brought the newly born baby Jesus gifts upon their arrival in the famous Christmas story. In the southern United States we offer people food. In Colombia, they offer guests coffee and so on and so on....
So what is it about gifts that make us want to keep on giving and receiving?
An article in the New York Times reads,
"Gift giving has long been a favorite subject for studies on human behavior, with psychologists, anthropologists, economists and marketers all weighing in. They have found that giving gifts is a surprisingly complex and important part of human interaction, helping to define relationships and strengthen bonds with family and friends. Indeed, psychologists say it is often the giver, rather than the recipient, who reaps the biggest psychological gains from a gift." Click here to read the whole thing.
Thus all in all, the giving and receiving of gifts seems to be an important act and I would say an act of love, and for our family, we all missed that expression of our love for one another so we moved back to giving gifts.
BUT ISN'T THAT THE OPPOSITE OF THE SIMPLE, ANTI-MATERIALISTIC LIFESTYLE YOU ARE PROMOTING?!?
Yes... BUT that's why I encourage you to RETHINK gift giving for your family and friends and holiday festivities. Think outside of just setting budget limits, think more about the nature of the gifts.
Ideas I've had/seen/heard:
1) Instead of giving a $25 gift (or whatever budget) to everyone, everyone writes each other a letter about how much the recipient means to the sender.
2) Only works for certain crowds, but require that all gifts given are handmade by the giver. It can be cookies you baked, a scarf you knitted, a painting you painted, etc.
3) Cut down on the number of gifts given by exchanging names instead of getting for everyone. Still makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.
4) Have everyone bring a gift of a certain price limit and play some Dirty Santa. Directions vary, but here are some pretty basic ones. For this, you have to think about gifts that a lot of people will enjoy so you still have to think outside of yourself and this one tends to be funny especially for a family or group of friends that tend to be competitive.
5) Play Dirty Santa and make it a regift exchange. I went to one of these last night and it was hilarious! It also wasn't full of new stuff that only fills our land fills in 5 years. It upcycled! People got DVDs, scarves and hats, a tie that looked like a salmon.... The rules were you had to regift an old gift or something you had around the house and not spend money.
I got this little bundle of fun and I found that I....
 | ||
| a) Love Nerds b) actually really wanted a Christmas mug, but because it wasn't necessary, I wouldn't get one (now I have one and don't feel wasteful) c) love news toys for Bailey d) (that's a University of Tennessee ornament) Like having an ornament that commemorates Andrew's and my first Christmas together here in Knoxville. |
And thus, this gift = awesome.
What are your ideas?
I like the handmade gift idea, and attempted it last year. I had recently learned to sew and had completed a few projects, so decided I'd use my new skill to make meaningful gifts - all the girls in my family got a pair of pajama pants that were made especially for them.
ReplyDeleteI know for a fact that my sister has never worn hers... but we won't talk about that.
The real problem was that to buy the fabric and thread and things I needed, I ended up spending just as much as I would have had I bought them storebought jammies.
If I ever did that again, I'd make it a point to go to the thrift stores around here to see if I could find vintage fabric more cheaply, OR even go to Goodwill and buy flannel sheets and cut them up - this way it would still be personal and special but would also keep me within my budget a little better.